Dancin' in the Rain

Although I'm not a huge fan of the rainy weather we've been having, I'm glad our kids embraced the moment and danced in the rain!

Yum.

So, after my friend Crystal gave us a cinnamon roll demonstration last week, I left feeling inspired. And full. I was so inspired that I actually made cinnamon rolls from scratch today. For some reason, any recipe with yeast in it scares me. I remember attempting cinnamon rolls when we were first married and producing small, cinnamon and sugar coated hockey pucks. At that point, I swore off making anything with yeast. But today I tried it again and, much to my surprise, they were delicious! I had to borrow my mother-in-law's Bosch mixer, which made the job super easy. The only problem was I couldn't stop eating them! I don't know if I'll attempt these again any time soon, but I have to admit I'm quite proud of myself for trying something new!

Blah!

I don't know about you but the snowy weather has left me a little down the last few days (at least I think that's the reason). Feeling excited and grateful usually comes pretty naturally to me. The last few days however, have been a downer. So, to whip my attitude back into shape, I wanted to post a few pictures of the fun things we've been doing lately. I am so blessed, especially to be a mom and to have these amazing kids and husband!

Playing cars with Cameron

Rich doing the dishes with frilly gloves on - he's never looked hotter.

Carson can fill out this thing as well as I can.

Playing outside in the dirt on one of the choice sunny days.

Carson and Caleb as "minjas"

Tagged

I have been a total blog slacker lately, but my friend reminded me last night that she tagged me a couple months ago. I actually had a quiet moment today, so here it goes! This is the fourth picture from the fourth file on our computer. It is a shot from the temple in Germany. We attended a session directly after arriving in Germany. We were extremely jet lagged and I don't remember much from it, but it was a neat experience. The people sacrifice so much there, driving hours and hours, just to work in the temple. Is it just me or do I look a lot younger there? (This picture is only about 3 years old).

Bathroom Remodel - Yahoo!!!!

We finally remodeled our bathroom!!! There are still a few finishing touches to make, but here are a few pics of it. This was a long awaited and much anticipated goal of mine. Rich did the majority of the work himself, with help along the way from skilled friends and neighbors. Can I just tell you how excited I am?

On a totally different subject, this picture pretty much sums up Cameron's first 18 months. To put it mildly, he cried A LOT. I've tried to chalk it up to teething, colds, you name it, but I think it just comes down to the fact that he is a high maintenance child. HOWEVER, lately he has suddenly become easier! He actually goes in the other room and plays by himself! He stopped biting my feet while I was trying to make dinner! He runs around with a smile on his face! I know this may just be a passing phase, but I'm enjoying every minute of it. Way to go Cam!

Recent Happenings

The kids love playing in the snow, especially when daddy joins them

Christmas morning

Christmas Eve in new pajamas

Cameron looking cute

Carson in his annual preschool program

Carson as an elf in his program


Now that the holidays are over, our life is a little blah! It was fun while it lasted. I'm glad to get back into a routine and have the kids on schedules. Maybe I'll even get caught up on laundry. We had a wonderful holiday season. We hope you did too!

Dream Vacation in Paradise

We finally did it! After years of planning and months of waiting, we embarked on our 10 year anniversary/pass the CPA exam/we need a break vacation. We flew to San Juan, Puerto Rico where we climbed aboard the Serenade of the Seas cruise ship. From there we visited St. Thomas, St Maarten, Antigua, St. Lucia, and Barbados. We had never cruised before and weren't sure what to expect, but we both loved it. Besides a little sea sickness, it was a great way to go for a stress-free vacation. The weather was perfect, as was the company. Some of the highlights included a canopy tour in the rainforest including 9 ziplines, a hike to a beautiful volcanic waterfall, and a scenic bike ride through old sugar plantations. It was so nice to enjoy each other without the distractions and stresses of daily life.

This picture was taken at Orient Beach, a nude beach in St. Maarten. No, we did not participate. We stuck to the family-friendly side of the beach. Yuck!

Rich at a craft fair where they sold a lot of crap.

We went on a bike ride in Barbados...they made us wear silly shower caps under out helmets. It was beautiful and picturesque (the scenery that is).

A beautiful beach in Barbados

All dressed up for formal night

Touring an old fort in Puerto Rico

Returning home refreshed, reconnected, and relaxed.

I have to give props to my parents for tending our little cuties while we were away. My mom was exhausted by the time we got home (we were gone 7 nights!) She had to do carpool, naps, homework, the whole shebang. And Cameron didn't sleep at night for her. We never could have done it without you! Thank you so much! You are my heroes!

Living the Dream

Occasionally Rich will ask me, "what are your dreams"? Along with being rich and famous (J/K), I always have to tell him that I AM living my dream. When I was a little girl, it was my dream to be a mom and wife. Now that I am one, I can truly say it is a dream come true. Now don't get me wrong, our life is not perfect. I don't mean this to be boastful or to let on that our life is perfect, it's not. I only mean to say that I wouldn't have it any other way.

Just like most of you, my life is filled with tears and fighting, scraped knees and huge goose eggs, mental health challenges and constant messes. The laundry is never done, and the fingerprints on our glass never seem to get cleaned off. But to me right now, this is wonderful! It is part of our journey as a family and it is what makes me happy.

I love catching our little family in moments where we're all laughing and smiling. I love it when we dance together or play games or wrestle. I love it when I have moments of clarity and realize how truly blessed I am.

I've noticed that this feeling almost always lies in my attitude and perspective. A couple months ago, I found myself irritable, ornery, and difficult. Lately I've been waking up everyday with a smile on my face with excitement for the day. The difference: my attitude. Nothing in our lives has really changed in the last two months, except my perspective. I decided to focus on my blessings and the positive in my children and husband. When I did this, I became happier. I can chalk my feelings up to hormones, the change of the weather, or sleep deprivation, but for me it ultimately comes down to a conscious effort to focus on the positive in my life.

I don't mean to trivialize the feelings of depression that some people feel. I know that these are real and that "thinking happy thoughts" doesn't work for everyone. For me however, this truly does seem to work.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings today. I just felt like saying, I love being a mother and wife. It brings me so much joy.

Fun in the Fall

The kids love playing in the leaves.

Rich and I dressed up like Siegfried and Roy for our friend's Halloween party. The best part was wearing the mullet wigs. Thanks for letting us borrow your costumes Rach! It was so fun to gather with friends and party like rock stars (mormon style)!

Our trip to Gardner Village on the BUSIEST day of the year (UEA vacation with nice weather). Still, fun was had by all.

Sophie with her best friend Lillie.

Random Tidbits

Sophie received this goose egg on her right forehead by running into a metal pole outside! They were racing with their EYES CLOSED! She was running around again 10 minutes later.

Carson is playing soccer this season. I don't think they've won a game yet, but they look cool in their uniforms.

Cameron tried my homemade guacamole for the first time and LOVED it!

1st Grade Update

I thought I'd just update everyone on Sophie's progress in 1st grade. When I last posted about her (before school started), we'd already seen some amazing progress. I'm happy to report that she is doing fantastic in school!!!!!

At our first meeting with her teacher, in typical Selective Mutism fashion, Sophie sat close to me with her head down and her hands rubbing her eyes. She wouldn't make eye contact or even nod to her teacher. However, on the THIRD day of school, Sophie's teacher called me to tell me she had raised her hand to answer a question out loud!!!! By the second week of school, her teacher told me she was raising her hand to ask questions (takes more initiative) and was talking to and making friends.

One morning when I took her to school, I was helping Cameron for a minute. When I looked up, Sophie was racing down to the playground holding hands with two new friends. Sophie says when kids ask her why she talks this year at school, she just replies, "I'm not as shy as I used to be".

In our life, we consider this a miracle. The changes in Sophie since starting medication have been dramatic. People keep asking me what we've done to help her come out of her shell. The answer is, the right diagnosis with proper treatment. Her pediatrician recently told me that in his 23 years of practice, he's never seen a child so anxious or mute. We know it is a blessing that she has progressed so fast and can now reach her potential.

Head Games

Are you like me and find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others? For awhile I was feeling pretty content with my life, situation, and even myself. Lately however, I just find myself thinking, "I wish I could be more artistic like her", or "I wish I was more motivated like her" or "I wish my stomach was flatter like hers", or "I wish my house was beautifully decorated like hers". Why do I constantly beat myself up? Do you experience these same self-defeating thoughts?

One part of me knows that I was created to be who I am. I know I have my own strengths and abilities. Another part of me longs to be something different, something more. I think part of this is human nature. I think it is natural to notice the best in others while only noticing the worst in ourselves. But, as we've been taught, the natural man (or woman) is an enemy to God. While it may be natural to compare ourselves, nothing good comes of it! It is not how God wants us to view ourselves. And it is dangerous. We never know what trials or weaknesses that other "perfect" person has.

There is a fine line between admiring someone for their strengths and putting yourself down for not having that strength. I am committing to STOP comparing myself to others and just focus on improving my weaknesses and being grateful for the strengths that I have. One quote I heard as a youth that has always stuck with me is (Heavenly Father speaking): "The greatest gift I could give you is to see yourself the way I do". Heavenly Father sees me as an imperfect person that is just trying to do better. And that is OKAY. He doesn't want me to be just like everyone else. And he doesn't fault me for not having all the talents I think I'd like to have.

I know you may have this all figured out, but I have to remind myself sometimes that I may not be the best at everything, but as long as I'm striving to improve, that's what matters. Any suggestions/thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated!

More Pictures!

I know I've posted a lot of these pictures, but I just wanted to add a few more of my favorites. I'm having a hard time deciding what to hang on my walls. What do you like more - black and white or color? Close up or far away? I need help! I know, I'm indecisive. Each picture comes in B&W or color, making my decision even more complicated. Maybe I'll just have to change pictures every 6 months!

Sophie's Journey (so far)

Okay, I hope this isn't too much information, but I use this blog as my journal so I want to remember this about our sweet Sophie.

Sophie has been called many things over the years - shy, reserved, introverted, slow to warm up, you get the picture. For me, this has been heart breaking. When we signed her up for soccer, she would stand in the middle of the field, frozen like a statue. She would remain this way throughout the game. Afterward, she would cry because she was so disappointed in herself for not playing. At school, she was known as "the girl who doesn't talk". She would only participate in activities at school about half the time and was completely nonverbal at school for about the last half of the year. When someone asks her how old she is or what her name is, she freezes like a deer in the headlights. While I am shy by nature, I've always been able to make friends and function in the world. Sophie took shyness to a whole new level. She couldn't function in her world.

For awhile, I just figured she'd grow out of it. I thought she would learn how to cope with it and eventually come out of her shell. But she seemed to be getting worse instead of better. My dad mentioned that he'd seen a clip on the Today Show about Selective Mutism and suggested I look into it. I'd never heard of this but after a few months decided to look it up on the internet. I was shocked to discover that Sophie fit the description EXACTLY. It's an anxiety disorder where kids are extremely verbal at home but become mute in almost all other settings due to extreme, paralyzing, anxiety. Her kindergarten teacher mentioned the same diagnosis.

After a lot of discussion and thought, we decided to have her evaluated by a child psychiatrist. He agreed with the diagnosis and recommended we start her on an anti-anxiety medication. We're also motivating her with small prizes for communicating with people. I am here to tell you that this medication has made a huge difference in our life! I was worried that Sophie might become a different person or "lose" her personality. Actually, I feel the opposite has happened. She seems like she can relax enough now to be herself. Her primary teacher called to tell me today that she's noticed a big change in her. She said she volunteered for the prayer and even befriended a visitor in the class. Her teacher had no idea we had started her on medication.

I understand that medication is not a "fix all" and I even think it tends to be over-used in our society. However, so far, it has given Sophie those little chemicals in her brain that she was missing. It has helped her relax enough to talk to a cousin she wouldn't talk to before, and even answer someone's question on the playground. I'm so glad we live in a time where science and medicine can help improve the quality of our lives.

Now wish her luck with 1st grade! This will be the true test.

Highlights from the last few weeks

We swapped kids with Rich's brother; we got the girls and they got the boys. It was a blast!

We went camping with Rich's brother's family near Flaming Gorge. The scenery was amazing and our kids get along great. Sophie could drive this mini-4 wheeler by herself! It was quite scary.

Playing in the creek with cousins while camping

We didn't let Carson drive, maybe next year.

We had been anxiously awaiting our appointment with this photographer, Skye Johansen, for 6 months. As our luck would have it, none of my kids would smile! I still think they turned out cute though. These are just a few samples. I'm waiting to get all the proofs in the mail.

And to top it all off, Rich and I celebrated our 10th anniversary! We are officially celebrating in November with a 7 day cruise to the Caribbean. But we had to do something on the actual day. We started by buying Rich a new road bike. Following that, we went out for one of our favorite meals: sushi! It was so much fun to be together and to reminisce about our life so far. We've had ups and downs, but it's all been worth it! And I'm happy to say we're more in love now than ever! I love you Rich!