Fun in the Fall

The kids love playing in the leaves.

Rich and I dressed up like Siegfried and Roy for our friend's Halloween party. The best part was wearing the mullet wigs. Thanks for letting us borrow your costumes Rach! It was so fun to gather with friends and party like rock stars (mormon style)!

Our trip to Gardner Village on the BUSIEST day of the year (UEA vacation with nice weather). Still, fun was had by all.

Sophie with her best friend Lillie.

Random Tidbits

Sophie received this goose egg on her right forehead by running into a metal pole outside! They were racing with their EYES CLOSED! She was running around again 10 minutes later.

Carson is playing soccer this season. I don't think they've won a game yet, but they look cool in their uniforms.

Cameron tried my homemade guacamole for the first time and LOVED it!

1st Grade Update

I thought I'd just update everyone on Sophie's progress in 1st grade. When I last posted about her (before school started), we'd already seen some amazing progress. I'm happy to report that she is doing fantastic in school!!!!!

At our first meeting with her teacher, in typical Selective Mutism fashion, Sophie sat close to me with her head down and her hands rubbing her eyes. She wouldn't make eye contact or even nod to her teacher. However, on the THIRD day of school, Sophie's teacher called me to tell me she had raised her hand to answer a question out loud!!!! By the second week of school, her teacher told me she was raising her hand to ask questions (takes more initiative) and was talking to and making friends.

One morning when I took her to school, I was helping Cameron for a minute. When I looked up, Sophie was racing down to the playground holding hands with two new friends. Sophie says when kids ask her why she talks this year at school, she just replies, "I'm not as shy as I used to be".

In our life, we consider this a miracle. The changes in Sophie since starting medication have been dramatic. People keep asking me what we've done to help her come out of her shell. The answer is, the right diagnosis with proper treatment. Her pediatrician recently told me that in his 23 years of practice, he's never seen a child so anxious or mute. We know it is a blessing that she has progressed so fast and can now reach her potential.

Head Games

Are you like me and find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others? For awhile I was feeling pretty content with my life, situation, and even myself. Lately however, I just find myself thinking, "I wish I could be more artistic like her", or "I wish I was more motivated like her" or "I wish my stomach was flatter like hers", or "I wish my house was beautifully decorated like hers". Why do I constantly beat myself up? Do you experience these same self-defeating thoughts?

One part of me knows that I was created to be who I am. I know I have my own strengths and abilities. Another part of me longs to be something different, something more. I think part of this is human nature. I think it is natural to notice the best in others while only noticing the worst in ourselves. But, as we've been taught, the natural man (or woman) is an enemy to God. While it may be natural to compare ourselves, nothing good comes of it! It is not how God wants us to view ourselves. And it is dangerous. We never know what trials or weaknesses that other "perfect" person has.

There is a fine line between admiring someone for their strengths and putting yourself down for not having that strength. I am committing to STOP comparing myself to others and just focus on improving my weaknesses and being grateful for the strengths that I have. One quote I heard as a youth that has always stuck with me is (Heavenly Father speaking): "The greatest gift I could give you is to see yourself the way I do". Heavenly Father sees me as an imperfect person that is just trying to do better. And that is OKAY. He doesn't want me to be just like everyone else. And he doesn't fault me for not having all the talents I think I'd like to have.

I know you may have this all figured out, but I have to remind myself sometimes that I may not be the best at everything, but as long as I'm striving to improve, that's what matters. Any suggestions/thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated!

More Pictures!

I know I've posted a lot of these pictures, but I just wanted to add a few more of my favorites. I'm having a hard time deciding what to hang on my walls. What do you like more - black and white or color? Close up or far away? I need help! I know, I'm indecisive. Each picture comes in B&W or color, making my decision even more complicated. Maybe I'll just have to change pictures every 6 months!

Sophie's Journey (so far)

Okay, I hope this isn't too much information, but I use this blog as my journal so I want to remember this about our sweet Sophie.

Sophie has been called many things over the years - shy, reserved, introverted, slow to warm up, you get the picture. For me, this has been heart breaking. When we signed her up for soccer, she would stand in the middle of the field, frozen like a statue. She would remain this way throughout the game. Afterward, she would cry because she was so disappointed in herself for not playing. At school, she was known as "the girl who doesn't talk". She would only participate in activities at school about half the time and was completely nonverbal at school for about the last half of the year. When someone asks her how old she is or what her name is, she freezes like a deer in the headlights. While I am shy by nature, I've always been able to make friends and function in the world. Sophie took shyness to a whole new level. She couldn't function in her world.

For awhile, I just figured she'd grow out of it. I thought she would learn how to cope with it and eventually come out of her shell. But she seemed to be getting worse instead of better. My dad mentioned that he'd seen a clip on the Today Show about Selective Mutism and suggested I look into it. I'd never heard of this but after a few months decided to look it up on the internet. I was shocked to discover that Sophie fit the description EXACTLY. It's an anxiety disorder where kids are extremely verbal at home but become mute in almost all other settings due to extreme, paralyzing, anxiety. Her kindergarten teacher mentioned the same diagnosis.

After a lot of discussion and thought, we decided to have her evaluated by a child psychiatrist. He agreed with the diagnosis and recommended we start her on an anti-anxiety medication. We're also motivating her with small prizes for communicating with people. I am here to tell you that this medication has made a huge difference in our life! I was worried that Sophie might become a different person or "lose" her personality. Actually, I feel the opposite has happened. She seems like she can relax enough now to be herself. Her primary teacher called to tell me today that she's noticed a big change in her. She said she volunteered for the prayer and even befriended a visitor in the class. Her teacher had no idea we had started her on medication.

I understand that medication is not a "fix all" and I even think it tends to be over-used in our society. However, so far, it has given Sophie those little chemicals in her brain that she was missing. It has helped her relax enough to talk to a cousin she wouldn't talk to before, and even answer someone's question on the playground. I'm so glad we live in a time where science and medicine can help improve the quality of our lives.

Now wish her luck with 1st grade! This will be the true test.

Highlights from the last few weeks

We swapped kids with Rich's brother; we got the girls and they got the boys. It was a blast!

We went camping with Rich's brother's family near Flaming Gorge. The scenery was amazing and our kids get along great. Sophie could drive this mini-4 wheeler by herself! It was quite scary.

Playing in the creek with cousins while camping

We didn't let Carson drive, maybe next year.

We had been anxiously awaiting our appointment with this photographer, Skye Johansen, for 6 months. As our luck would have it, none of my kids would smile! I still think they turned out cute though. These are just a few samples. I'm waiting to get all the proofs in the mail.

And to top it all off, Rich and I celebrated our 10th anniversary! We are officially celebrating in November with a 7 day cruise to the Caribbean. But we had to do something on the actual day. We started by buying Rich a new road bike. Following that, we went out for one of our favorite meals: sushi! It was so much fun to be together and to reminisce about our life so far. We've had ups and downs, but it's all been worth it! And I'm happy to say we're more in love now than ever! I love you Rich!