Dream Vacation in Paradise

We finally did it! After years of planning and months of waiting, we embarked on our 10 year anniversary/pass the CPA exam/we need a break vacation. We flew to San Juan, Puerto Rico where we climbed aboard the Serenade of the Seas cruise ship. From there we visited St. Thomas, St Maarten, Antigua, St. Lucia, and Barbados. We had never cruised before and weren't sure what to expect, but we both loved it. Besides a little sea sickness, it was a great way to go for a stress-free vacation. The weather was perfect, as was the company. Some of the highlights included a canopy tour in the rainforest including 9 ziplines, a hike to a beautiful volcanic waterfall, and a scenic bike ride through old sugar plantations. It was so nice to enjoy each other without the distractions and stresses of daily life.

This picture was taken at Orient Beach, a nude beach in St. Maarten. No, we did not participate. We stuck to the family-friendly side of the beach. Yuck!

Rich at a craft fair where they sold a lot of crap.

We went on a bike ride in Barbados...they made us wear silly shower caps under out helmets. It was beautiful and picturesque (the scenery that is).

A beautiful beach in Barbados

All dressed up for formal night

Touring an old fort in Puerto Rico

Returning home refreshed, reconnected, and relaxed.

I have to give props to my parents for tending our little cuties while we were away. My mom was exhausted by the time we got home (we were gone 7 nights!) She had to do carpool, naps, homework, the whole shebang. And Cameron didn't sleep at night for her. We never could have done it without you! Thank you so much! You are my heroes!

Living the Dream

Occasionally Rich will ask me, "what are your dreams"? Along with being rich and famous (J/K), I always have to tell him that I AM living my dream. When I was a little girl, it was my dream to be a mom and wife. Now that I am one, I can truly say it is a dream come true. Now don't get me wrong, our life is not perfect. I don't mean this to be boastful or to let on that our life is perfect, it's not. I only mean to say that I wouldn't have it any other way.

Just like most of you, my life is filled with tears and fighting, scraped knees and huge goose eggs, mental health challenges and constant messes. The laundry is never done, and the fingerprints on our glass never seem to get cleaned off. But to me right now, this is wonderful! It is part of our journey as a family and it is what makes me happy.

I love catching our little family in moments where we're all laughing and smiling. I love it when we dance together or play games or wrestle. I love it when I have moments of clarity and realize how truly blessed I am.

I've noticed that this feeling almost always lies in my attitude and perspective. A couple months ago, I found myself irritable, ornery, and difficult. Lately I've been waking up everyday with a smile on my face with excitement for the day. The difference: my attitude. Nothing in our lives has really changed in the last two months, except my perspective. I decided to focus on my blessings and the positive in my children and husband. When I did this, I became happier. I can chalk my feelings up to hormones, the change of the weather, or sleep deprivation, but for me it ultimately comes down to a conscious effort to focus on the positive in my life.

I don't mean to trivialize the feelings of depression that some people feel. I know that these are real and that "thinking happy thoughts" doesn't work for everyone. For me however, this truly does seem to work.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings today. I just felt like saying, I love being a mother and wife. It brings me so much joy.

Fun in the Fall

The kids love playing in the leaves.

Rich and I dressed up like Siegfried and Roy for our friend's Halloween party. The best part was wearing the mullet wigs. Thanks for letting us borrow your costumes Rach! It was so fun to gather with friends and party like rock stars (mormon style)!

Our trip to Gardner Village on the BUSIEST day of the year (UEA vacation with nice weather). Still, fun was had by all.

Sophie with her best friend Lillie.

Random Tidbits

Sophie received this goose egg on her right forehead by running into a metal pole outside! They were racing with their EYES CLOSED! She was running around again 10 minutes later.

Carson is playing soccer this season. I don't think they've won a game yet, but they look cool in their uniforms.

Cameron tried my homemade guacamole for the first time and LOVED it!

1st Grade Update

I thought I'd just update everyone on Sophie's progress in 1st grade. When I last posted about her (before school started), we'd already seen some amazing progress. I'm happy to report that she is doing fantastic in school!!!!!

At our first meeting with her teacher, in typical Selective Mutism fashion, Sophie sat close to me with her head down and her hands rubbing her eyes. She wouldn't make eye contact or even nod to her teacher. However, on the THIRD day of school, Sophie's teacher called me to tell me she had raised her hand to answer a question out loud!!!! By the second week of school, her teacher told me she was raising her hand to ask questions (takes more initiative) and was talking to and making friends.

One morning when I took her to school, I was helping Cameron for a minute. When I looked up, Sophie was racing down to the playground holding hands with two new friends. Sophie says when kids ask her why she talks this year at school, she just replies, "I'm not as shy as I used to be".

In our life, we consider this a miracle. The changes in Sophie since starting medication have been dramatic. People keep asking me what we've done to help her come out of her shell. The answer is, the right diagnosis with proper treatment. Her pediatrician recently told me that in his 23 years of practice, he's never seen a child so anxious or mute. We know it is a blessing that she has progressed so fast and can now reach her potential.

Head Games

Are you like me and find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others? For awhile I was feeling pretty content with my life, situation, and even myself. Lately however, I just find myself thinking, "I wish I could be more artistic like her", or "I wish I was more motivated like her" or "I wish my stomach was flatter like hers", or "I wish my house was beautifully decorated like hers". Why do I constantly beat myself up? Do you experience these same self-defeating thoughts?

One part of me knows that I was created to be who I am. I know I have my own strengths and abilities. Another part of me longs to be something different, something more. I think part of this is human nature. I think it is natural to notice the best in others while only noticing the worst in ourselves. But, as we've been taught, the natural man (or woman) is an enemy to God. While it may be natural to compare ourselves, nothing good comes of it! It is not how God wants us to view ourselves. And it is dangerous. We never know what trials or weaknesses that other "perfect" person has.

There is a fine line between admiring someone for their strengths and putting yourself down for not having that strength. I am committing to STOP comparing myself to others and just focus on improving my weaknesses and being grateful for the strengths that I have. One quote I heard as a youth that has always stuck with me is (Heavenly Father speaking): "The greatest gift I could give you is to see yourself the way I do". Heavenly Father sees me as an imperfect person that is just trying to do better. And that is OKAY. He doesn't want me to be just like everyone else. And he doesn't fault me for not having all the talents I think I'd like to have.

I know you may have this all figured out, but I have to remind myself sometimes that I may not be the best at everything, but as long as I'm striving to improve, that's what matters. Any suggestions/thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated!

More Pictures!

I know I've posted a lot of these pictures, but I just wanted to add a few more of my favorites. I'm having a hard time deciding what to hang on my walls. What do you like more - black and white or color? Close up or far away? I need help! I know, I'm indecisive. Each picture comes in B&W or color, making my decision even more complicated. Maybe I'll just have to change pictures every 6 months!

Sophie's Journey (so far)

Okay, I hope this isn't too much information, but I use this blog as my journal so I want to remember this about our sweet Sophie.

Sophie has been called many things over the years - shy, reserved, introverted, slow to warm up, you get the picture. For me, this has been heart breaking. When we signed her up for soccer, she would stand in the middle of the field, frozen like a statue. She would remain this way throughout the game. Afterward, she would cry because she was so disappointed in herself for not playing. At school, she was known as "the girl who doesn't talk". She would only participate in activities at school about half the time and was completely nonverbal at school for about the last half of the year. When someone asks her how old she is or what her name is, she freezes like a deer in the headlights. While I am shy by nature, I've always been able to make friends and function in the world. Sophie took shyness to a whole new level. She couldn't function in her world.

For awhile, I just figured she'd grow out of it. I thought she would learn how to cope with it and eventually come out of her shell. But she seemed to be getting worse instead of better. My dad mentioned that he'd seen a clip on the Today Show about Selective Mutism and suggested I look into it. I'd never heard of this but after a few months decided to look it up on the internet. I was shocked to discover that Sophie fit the description EXACTLY. It's an anxiety disorder where kids are extremely verbal at home but become mute in almost all other settings due to extreme, paralyzing, anxiety. Her kindergarten teacher mentioned the same diagnosis.

After a lot of discussion and thought, we decided to have her evaluated by a child psychiatrist. He agreed with the diagnosis and recommended we start her on an anti-anxiety medication. We're also motivating her with small prizes for communicating with people. I am here to tell you that this medication has made a huge difference in our life! I was worried that Sophie might become a different person or "lose" her personality. Actually, I feel the opposite has happened. She seems like she can relax enough now to be herself. Her primary teacher called to tell me today that she's noticed a big change in her. She said she volunteered for the prayer and even befriended a visitor in the class. Her teacher had no idea we had started her on medication.

I understand that medication is not a "fix all" and I even think it tends to be over-used in our society. However, so far, it has given Sophie those little chemicals in her brain that she was missing. It has helped her relax enough to talk to a cousin she wouldn't talk to before, and even answer someone's question on the playground. I'm so glad we live in a time where science and medicine can help improve the quality of our lives.

Now wish her luck with 1st grade! This will be the true test.

Highlights from the last few weeks

We swapped kids with Rich's brother; we got the girls and they got the boys. It was a blast!

We went camping with Rich's brother's family near Flaming Gorge. The scenery was amazing and our kids get along great. Sophie could drive this mini-4 wheeler by herself! It was quite scary.

Playing in the creek with cousins while camping

We didn't let Carson drive, maybe next year.

We had been anxiously awaiting our appointment with this photographer, Skye Johansen, for 6 months. As our luck would have it, none of my kids would smile! I still think they turned out cute though. These are just a few samples. I'm waiting to get all the proofs in the mail.

And to top it all off, Rich and I celebrated our 10th anniversary! We are officially celebrating in November with a 7 day cruise to the Caribbean. But we had to do something on the actual day. We started by buying Rich a new road bike. Following that, we went out for one of our favorite meals: sushi! It was so much fun to be together and to reminisce about our life so far. We've had ups and downs, but it's all been worth it! And I'm happy to say we're more in love now than ever! I love you Rich!

Happy birthday Carson!

This picture captures the essence of Carson

Another week, another birthday! Carson turned four on July 13th (sorry about the late post). We celebrated by eating at McDonald's and then heading to the Kid's Barn in Draper for some bouncing fun. Carson brought along his two best friends, Connor and Caleb. Carson is such a sweet boy. He is silly and crazy and goofy, and he keeps us laughing. He says whatever comes to his mind. Sometimes it makes sense, sometimes it is just plain weird! Either way, he keeps life interesting. I love that Carson loves to have fun, and that he totally loves Batman, Spiderman, and Power Rangers even though he's never seen the shows. I love that his favorite foods are guacamole and "mouse cheese" (swiss). I love how he uses his imagination to play, and that he loves being with friends and people. He can make friends anywhere he goes. And I love how sensitive and tender-hearted he is. Carson, you are my sweetheart! I love you!

Summer Craziness!

The last few weeks feel like a whirlwind. It all started when Rich and I, and my parents, took a small trek to the City of Sin (aka Vegas) to see Spamalot. We were treated like VIPs due to some connections my dad has from work. It was so nice to get away, eat great food, and stay in a sweet suite at the Bellagio. Rich's amazing sister, Diane, offered to tend for us. I had just barely weaned Cameron and was a nervous wreck leaving him. However, the kids did great! Besides one minor diarrhea incident and two pee incidents (this is the story of my life), the kids seemed to adjust well. Sophie even told me today that she wished she could have stayed longer.

The next major event happening in our life is birthdays! Sophie turned 6 on June 29th. We celebrated by eating orange chicken at Panda Express (Sophie's choice) and living it up at Jungle Jim's. Of course, Sophie invited her BFF Lillie to come along. The next day we had a small barbecue at our house for the grandparents. Sophie is one amazing girl. She is a feisty little fireball. This may come as a surprise. Outwardly she appears shy and introverted. When she's comfortable, she is funny, silly, smart, and dominant. We are so blessed to have Sophie in our life. I have learned so much from her. From small beginnings, great things have come to pass!

After 4 days at girl's camp (sooooooooo much fun!), I returned just in time for the 4th of July and Rich's birthday. I can't believe my sweetheart is 33! We enjoyed the weekend together as a family. Rich is truly my best friend. I feel like we've grown up together. I've watched him develop into a wonderful man. We have so much fun together. I love his sense of humor. He is constantly making me laugh. He can reason with the kids like no one else can. I love how he cries when watching TV and when he feels the Spirit. He is a wonderful companion in every sense of the word.

Sorry to blab on. We've been having a lot of fun this summer. I hope you are too! I've got to go find a present for Carson for his birthday!

Tagged

I was tagged by my good friend Jen. So here it goes!

3 Joys...

1. Hugs from Rich and my kids. There is nothing better than hugs. I'm not too touchy/feely except with my immediate family. I'm constantly trying to hug them. Sometimes my hugs are even returned!

2. Date night. We have had date nights on and off, but have been on lately. I especially love eating out and trying new restaurants. When we get home, I feel recharged and reconnected.

3. Summer. I love summer! I love the kids playing outside. I love the sun and being tan. I love getting out of my car at night and having it warm. I love chatting with the neighbors on summer walks. I love waking up early when it's light. I love barbecues and family parties. I love the flowers outside. Summer is the best!

3 Fears...

1. Rejection. I always fear that people have stopped liking me, even if it appeared that they liked me the last time I saw them. I know it's weird!

2. I fear my kids will rebel. I have been blessed with some feisty little spirits. I'm afraid they're going to ditch everything I've taught them and make really bad choices. I guess I should just take it day by day and create an environment of love and open communication.

3. Lately I've been fearing I'll become disabled. I wonder how my family would function if I was missing a limb or had a debilitating disease. I know this is not likely. Just get it out of my head!

3 Current obsessions/collections...

I'm not really obsessive by nature and I don't collect anything (just adds to the clutter), but let me think...

1. American Idol. I know it's over, but I did record every episode and voted almost every time. I have watched every season and love listening to the judges' comments and critiques (except Paula who acts stoned half the time).

2. Blogging. I have to admit I was a little obsessed when I started blogging, checking it constantly, but my interest has died down a little. Now I only check once or twice a day!

3. Ice cream. Every night at about 8:00, I have a major ice cream craving. Most of the time I give in! My all time favorites are mint chocolate chip and cookie dough.

3 Random/surprising facts about myself...

1. I can roll my stomach like a wave. I obtained this talent as a young girl in ballet class. Our teacher taught us how and I was the only one in the class that mastered it! Too bad my abs are completely out of shape. I used to be proud to demonstrate my ability.

2. I am scuba certified. Rich and I went on a diving trip to Grand Cayman with his sister Karen and her husband Jeff when we'd been married about a year. We also went diving in Mexico a few years ago. The older I get and the more kids I have, the scarier it gets. I'm not sure if I'll try it on our cruise this November.

3. I love to waterski. We grew up with a boat and I learned to ski at a young age. My abilities plateaued years ago, but I still love to go any chance I can get!

I tag Emily, Crystal, Terrie, Mom, and Nicole. Have fun!

Happy Birthday Cameron! (and other good news)

This picture is supposed to be down below but I can't figure out how to move it!

Holy crap! I can't believe our baby is one (as of the 14th). When people told me the third baby was the hardest, I got scared. It turns out, they were right! I was in a definite funk for the first 3 months or longer. After about six months, I was feeling some sense of control, but there are still days when I feel overwhelmed.

The important thing is, we were sent a beautiful baby boy. And boy is he feisty! He is an active, moody, let-me know-how-he-feels-at-all-times baby. And I wouldn't have him any other way! He is so cute I just want to eat him! He can melt my heart just by breathing! I love the smell of his breath and the creases around his wrists. And don't get me started about his curly hair. He is what I would call "spicy". I suppose strong boys are a good thing. We are so blessed and grateful to have this amazing little man join our family. Happy birthday Cameron David Clegg!!!!!

Change of subject...besides being an amazingly fantastic husband and father, Rich can add one thing to his resume.....he is now a CPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You may not realize what a feat this is. Rich started studying for this in DECEMBER 2006. He initially passed the first test. But then proceeded to fail 4 tests in a row over a period of a year. I was ready to throw in the towel. But, in his wisdom, Rich knew it would be best in the long run to perservere. So he kept studying, and studying, and studying. He never gave up. He missed many a family party or weekend activity to study, but he kept his eye on the goal. His determination and drive to succeed are amazing. And, in the long run, it paid off! I am so proud of Rich for achieving this goal!!! Rich, you are the BEST. Now let's go celebrate!!!!

Goblin Valley!

Sophie and Carson riding the "camel"

Carson thought this looked like a bed

You can see that Carson is really enjoying himself

I have decided we are brave souls. Last weekend, we set off for the desert landscape with our good friends, the Larsens. With six kids ages five and under, we camped in the dirt among the beautiful scenery in Goblin Valley. If you have never been there, it looks like giant mushroom land. The kids had a blast climbing on the rocks and creating "secret hideouts". We have not been tent camping for awhile (and we may not attempt it again for a long time), but we're so glad we went. I have to admit that we experienced a lot of whining, tears, and crying, but the good definitely outweighed the bad. I'm sure in a few weeks we'll only remember the family bonding that occurred. Thanks for inviting us Nate and Rachel! You rock!